Olive Crest United Methodist Church
7180 North 60th Street
Omaha, Nebraska 68152

Our Pastor

Rev. Debra Tompsett-Welch

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Hearts

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The Spiritual Life

October 1999

Times of life, death and rebirth.

By Rev. Michael Lee Burgess

I got a most confusing number on my pager. It filled the whole screen and had way too many numbers. I looked at it in confusion. Maybe it was a long distance number, but there are still too many numbers. Then I noticed that the last numbers were 91. Maybe the 911 emergency code had been cut off, so I ran to the phone. It was Darrell Hoffman and he was calling me to tell me that his father Xaver had been killed in a car accident. I felt the icy wash of shock. Then the training took over and I tried to help. But after I hung up, the unsteady feelings came back and got worse. All of a sudden life was uncertain. My parents, my life, all seemed temporary. Everything in my life could disappear tomorrow. My church home seemed at risk. I have heard so many people say we are dying off and getting old, but I never listen. Now, in the midst of loss, I wondered, "Could they have been right?".

I had saved "X"'s life once. Many years ago I had felt pushed to take EMT Rescue squad training. So when "X" stopped breathing just before a Wedding, I knew just what to do. Even as I was breathing for him, I could feel God work through me. In awe I realized that all those many years ago God had started me on the path that would prepare me for that moment. Whenever I looked at "X" in church, I felt a sense that God was taking care of things and the kingdom was growing as it should. The church of God on earth was in good hands, even if I couldn't see it at the time. Now "X" was gone. He was one of those people who take care of things without being asked. If it needed fixing, he had skills and tools and time. If it needed funding he shared his resources. Now the world, and the church I have come to love, felt fragile and tentative. My confidence was gone. I didn't know what to do, or how we could become all the wonderful things I feel God dreams for us. Maybe we had waited too long. Maybe it was too little too late.

Then a friend told me of a pastor who was important in her life. He thought of God as a potter. When a pot gets flaws or bubbles in it's clay, it has to be squished and thumped to make it better, stronger and more beautiful. So he thought that when his life felt squished or thumped, he was being made better, stronger and more beautiful. She said that thinking like that helped her hold on. So I decided I would wait a bit and see if God was doing something in the midst of this thumping, when I felt so fragile and broken.

Five days after the funeral we had a NOW Vision meeting. NOW stands for Nurture, Outreach and Witness and it is a new way of organizing a small church. We have been trying to make it work for over a year and I have not seen much difference. Then my dad found some new teaching material a pastor did for his Doctoral Thesis for us to try. The meeting started as most meetings do and it was hard to focus my energy. As I looked around I noticed a lot of new faces. As we got started people kept coming up with new ideas. There was excitement in the air. There were things we hadn't tried yet. The future was still unknown, the story was not over yet. During my grief I had forgotten that it is hard to see God's hands in the present. I didn't know why I took the EMT classes, just that I felt pushed to grow, to learn more. They were long, hard and often frustrating. A lot like how the present feels. Stopping to listen, I can feel the movement again. The push is back. Yes, it still hurts to lose someone I love, but like I said at his funeral, "This life does not end with death, but only begins the second journey of life." Our church has been many things in the past. If we are going to be made into something more beautiful, then we need to remember change hurts. We will be more when we are re-"formed." We will be more of the dream God sees us to be. We are learning, and we are becoming. Wait in hope a little longer to see what God is doing. It will surprise and delight you, if only we wait with hope and anticipation as we work. Thank you for your support. It is helping, and together with God, we are building something lovely.

Your brother-in-Christ, Reverend Michael Lee Burgess

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