Olive Crest United Methodist Church
7180 North 60th Street
Omaha, Nebraska 68152

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Rev. Debra Tompsett-Welch

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The Spiritual Life

October 2003

So What Did I Learn from Having Pneumonia?

By Rev. Michael Lee Burgess

Just about everything we live through can be used by God to teach us something if we will let God redeem it from just a bad time. These are not all the things I can learn from this time; God is still unpacking it for me. But these are some of the things I have thought of. So what have I learned?

One: my health is mine to take care of and the doctor is my professional assistant. If I don't understand what is going on I can't cooperate and I will make mistakes. If the doctor doesn't know what I know, he or she will make mistakes. It's not his job to fix it, it's mine and I'm going to be the one living with the results. So trust is good, but communication and mutual understanding is critical.

Two: drink water, milk, juice, or anything that doesn't have carbonation, caffeine and huge amounts of sugar in it. I didn't realize how often I drink something and don't notice what it is except its wet. I get cravings for pop once in a while now. I let myself drink a little to keep it from becoming something I think too much about. But I also notice that if I drink more than a little, my stomach gets grumpy.

Three: Listen to your body. It doesn't yell like the rest of the world does until it is too late. By the time my body is loud enough to drown out the world, it is already too late. But like listening to God, it takes some attention to a still small quite voice, and pays off big. The reasons doctors do so many expensive tests is we as patients can't tell them what they need to know, because we don't know how our body feels and what has it been trying to tell us.

Four: Listen to how I talk to me. If I speak the truth in love to myself, I don't end up wounded and mentally and physically exhausted. If I just speak truth, or worse yet, just yell, then it is a civil war and I have to spend energy to repair the damage as well as the energy I spent doing the damage. If I am not being loving in the way I relate to myself, I end up tired and I just can't get as much done. Strangely enough, I also get sick, so I guess my body gets tired too.

Five: When you don't take care of yourself, you can't do anything else either. When I was an EMT with the volunteer rural fire department, they told me the first and primary rule was that on an accident scene your first responsibility was not to become another patient. We all hated it, because helping was why we were there. But if you did get hurt, then it was worse than if you hadn't showed up. Well even in ministry I have to answer to God for the life God entrusted to my care and the life I am responsible for is mine. Then God works through that life to minister to other peoples lives. But no one answers to God for my life but me. So how do I be faithful to that trust, to care for my life and soul, and still try and meet the all the needs and demands of ministry? The hard answer that I don't like, don't want to believe and am fighting with is that sometimes I can't. Not if I don't want to be sick for two weeks and recovering for two or three more. The part I am praying about is the balance point between committed effort, and acting like I don't love myself. Getting too far away from the committed effort and not enough is being done and I don't feel good about working. Like when I used to work a department at a retail store and we had a real, real slow night and it was exhausting, because I just felt like I was wasting time. I'd much rather have a busy night, I wouldn't be nearly as tired when I went home. But if I push it too far the other way, I end up sick and angry with myself for treating "me" like a disposable thing. I can't trade this body in for a newer model in this life, only when I am done here on earth and I have lots left to do before I am ready to go to heaven and the next life. I also can't treat my mind or spirit like that. It is not sacrificial love to use myself that way; it is at least codependency, or worse masochism. These are not Christ like virtues. That was not the way Christ acted on earth. We have had one sacrifice for sin and no others are needed. And true martyrs did not choose to die, they chose to be faithful and others killed them.

Six: Love helps everything. It helps my body heal. It helps my mind focus. It helps my creativity grow. It helps me be motivated to work harder and more effectively in healthy ways. It even helps me figure out what is important, and what is just a crisis, but not significant to building the Kingdom of God here on earth. And there is a lot of love in the world and in my life. But if I don't look for it, or worse yet if I get so busy I don't notice it, even when I am looking for it, then my life can feel empty and full of despair, a terrible spiritual illness. Love is there, but if I stop seeing it, loneliness and emptiness rob me of energy, and even my body gets weaker. So I need to look for, celebrate, and remind myself of the love in my life and spend at least a little time every week thanking God for the love all around me. It helps. Does that mean I won't ever get sick again? No, but I have noticed it does make a huge difference how often.

I hope you; my family in God are also taking care of yourself for God's sake, and for love. We need each other and without you, we are weaker and the kingdom is missing someone at the table.

May God continue to bless you and help your see and be energized by love, and remember to drink water.

Your brother-in-Christ,
Reverend Michael Lee Burgess

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